Where have you been?

A couple of people asked me where I have been.  A couple of months ago I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in my right eye. I have been to a specialist at OHSU. They treated it and gave it a very good prognosis. My vision is temporarily been effected but in a couple of months, I'll be raring to go. In the meantime, keep sharing this page and help us find some funding. Grants or whatever. Thanks Tom 

Save a Baby

I saw a photo of a man pouring a beer and a woman looking up at him with a big smile. I called the photo "Have a beer." The symbolism in this photo speaks volumes about the role a man must play in the life of a woman. It would be difficult, but I say, "Enjoy this beer but if there is any chance you could be pregnant, you may be damaging the child." You wouldn't have to tell her many times. If she feels left out because you were drinking and she wasn't, then do something else. If she doesn't care, they you should examine the relationship. This is what a real caring man would do. You can see the photo at: http://www.indiegogo.com/A-Day-in-the-Life-of-a-FASD-Child

A Few Random Thoughts

January 10, 2012

A few random thoughts: 

I was talking to a native American friend of mine today about the damage FASD has done to the various tribes around the country. I can't begin to describe the toll it has taken on these nations. If the average is one woman in five drinking during pregnancy, wonder what it is in the native population. 

I was recently told "Go save your own f'n baby, get off my page." I wondered why so much anger. Maybe guilt or shame. Don't think she will share with me the truth. 

I was on NOFAS site the other day looking at some of their material and found they have materials available in two languages. Care to venture a guess which two? I was surprised when I learned the second language was Russian. Then I started to think about all the Russian babies being adopted by Americans. 

This is an entirely different discussion but when we explore ways to help educate and motivate people to take ownership of these children, we will have to be aware that it may scare some of these parents. Maybe on the other side of the coin it will empower them. 

We've had some generous individuals helping out financially. Thank you. If you feel the call to help, go to: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Figg.me%2Fp%2F58952%3Fa%3D97683&h=AAQEFdp_lAQGHGZWqzYcuGzFzICjmMLYkYGaiQf-79RDncQ

Solutions

January 8, 2012

When I see all the damage done to these babies and the lives that follow, my first reaction is pain and to say, "Ain't this awful."  I think a lot of people share the "ain't it awful" reaction. The best and most reliable way to tune it out is to go into denial. Denial is the most effective defense we have to address the things we can't change. I can hear it now,"Nothing I can do about it."

But with some people - me, things are a different: After my first reaction, something happens. I start looking for solutions - how can this be fixed? 

Looking for solutions: There is one obvious solution - eliminate alcohol. There's no way we are going to outlaw alcohol. Unfortunately the human race is not ready for that. Remember we tried it and it was a dismal failure. For some reason we need the social lubricants and escapes that alcohol provides us. (Kind of sad when you think about it.)

So back to finding workable solutions: The first thing we have to agree on is we should do something to stop the damage done to the thousands of these babies. We need to find common ground where we can all stand to make the world a safer place for these unborn babies. 

One of the solutions centers on us men. I had a discussion the other day with a mom who cares for her FASD son. At my request, the discussion turned to men.  My question was, "Where are the  men?" (I can't take credit for the question only repeating it.) In Last Call, one of the doctors at Children's Hospital said, "Women drink with men. Women drink because of men." 

I know it may not be politically correct to say "Why don't you be a man?" It's not a demeaning statement to a woman. You could say the same thing to her, "Why don't you be a huMAN?" 

Someone suggested part of our problem may be that no one is teaching boys to be men? Maybe someone should be teaching all of us about how to be someone who is willing to take responsibility for our own actions. Why don't you be a leader? Why don't you care about your fellow huMAN beings? Shouldn't we be teaching this to everyone? 

The truth of the matter is men and women are different. Generally, men are stronger than women. Our brains work differently causing us to be better at some things than women. And the same is true with women who are better at many things that men aren't. Viva la difference. 

It used to be that being a man was a good thing. It implied leadership, strength and levelheadedness. It’s more like being a responsible person. So how does this apply to FASD? 

Here is one of the things I have to say to young men, "If you are in a relationship with a woman and there is any chance she may be pregnant, you need to talk to her about drinking. If you need to stop drinking during her pregnancy, to support her, then stop. If you can't then go find some help." 

If you are a woman, what will you say to a young woman?

Motives

January 7, 2012 - I want to make one thing crystal clear: I am not trying to sensationalize this issue. My goal is to help people understand what FASD is, help them understand it is totally preventable and possibly help motivate all of us to accept the responsibility of prevention.

The Lone Ranger

January 7, 2012

I was talking to a friend last night who has been following Save a Baby. I asked him if he would help me financially. He told me he had to be conservative because, "You know, these are tough times." 

Then I mentioned the IndieGoGo campaign (A Day in the Life of a FASD Child -- IndieGoGo). Where he could donate as little as $5. Even a small contribution would help. If for no other reason, I'll quit feeling like the Lone Ranger. I see that 250 people have visited the IndieGoGo campaign and one chose to help. 

He also asked me what the money would be used for. I explained how expensive making a movie is. Lots of travel expenses and the crew has to be paid. Often we have to pay for licenses for stock footage and sometimes we have to pay to use locations. (When I filmed at Southern Oregon University, I believe we had to pay $500 to use the board room for a day.) Then there are materials like the video tape. If we want it to be really compelling, we need to buy music. If we don't do this right, no television station will run it because they could be sued.  Back in the day when I had my own production company, I had people on staff and a steady cash flow and I was able to pay as I went along.  Now I can't do it alone. 

It's important to note: whether you help or not won't change the outcome of me doing this program. It'll just change the timeline. I'm committed to do this project. The difference you can help determine is when it will be finished. If I have to fund it entirely by myself, it will take a lot longer. Knowing between 40,000 and 100,000 babies are born with FASD each year, waiting just means more unfulfilled dreams. 

I've been a witness to the damage drugs and alcohol do to the human condition. I've lost good friends to overdoses, I've lost a son to a drunk driver and believe it or not, and I've even lost more than that to drugs and alcohol. Nothing I do will ever get any of that back but I will always know in my heart I did something about it. You can too.

If you log onto IndieGoGo and donate even $5, IndieGoGo may feature our project and help promote it. If they do that then we could get this done even sooner. If you donate anything, you can call it "our" project. You can own it. Until you do, it belongs to the people who contribute and me. Please join me. Thanks for your support and kind wishes.  Tom 

Baby Picture Rejected by Facebook

The Save a Baby Campaign has been live since last Friday and we have been getting a very positive response except for Facebook who didn't think the picture of the baby we use as our poster child isn't suitable for their advertising guidelines. 

I showed the picture to a friend of mine and she didn't want to look at it. In my sarcasm, I put the picture of a beautiful rose in its place. Is it just me or can you see the tragedy in this?

Join me and help save someone's child.